That's My Story and I'm Stickin' With It!

Have you ever needed a good "story" and you made one that was so good that you couldn't tell the truth from fiction?
I hope to do that in the hereafter when I am being interviewed by St. Peter about today (May 30, 2010). Tell me if you would buy this one or not:
"St. Peter, I can explain my activities on Sunday, May 30, 2010 like this... I wanted to enjoy one of the first real days of sun you all sent to us in May. So, following church, I put on some shorts, grabbed my shades and went to sit in the sun at the park.
Well, after a little bit these young men showed up at the park as well, and they brought some balls, bats, gloves, the whole thing. I thought the least I could do was enjoy the sun and watch the young men in their game.
Then I discovered someone had set up a grill and was cooking hot dogs, hamburgers, tacos, you name it, they had it. Then, someone set up a drinking fountain, and I was thirsty and hungry so, I took advantage of the situation.
After a while some angels sat down next to me for a few minutes. They were going to help the great conductor Frank Layden in leading a whole choir of participants in a good old song about home teams, and cracker jacks. \
By time the game was done, I had enjoyed the sun, made new friends, got hit on, and well, that's my story, and I'm stickin' with it!"
Oh, and if Lori reads this, 'open shirt guy' was there sans shirt! ha ha

Someone Should Warn 'Em

I really haven't mentioned that I am in the process of a divorce. After 32 years, I am facing life alone. I am moving into a new apartment after staying with my mother for a few weeks. (Thanks Mom!) And I am amazed at all the things I need.
I have a little furniture: Couch, bed, old dresser, office table and desk and a couple of side chairs. Nothing fancy. What I don't have are the little things that make a home. You know, pots, pans, dishes, silverware, dish towels, vacuum, iron and ironing board, spices, mustard, Ketchup, serving or mixing bowls, a pizza cutting wheel and on and on.
Someone should invent a "party" for divorcing men. A man's buddies should host a party at the neighborhood bar or pizza restaurant, ask their wives to get them some of the necessary items a man will need, wrap it up in a brown paper bag, and take it to the party. Kinda like a bridal shower.
Someone should write a book for divorcing men, or at least a check list of things to leave the house with, if possible, or what to purchase, and where to look.
For instance, I went to the local Thrift Store ( Deseret Industries) and I couldn't believe they wanted $1 a piece for used spatulas, spoons and tongs. So, I went to a knock off store - Tuesday Morning - and priced the same items. They were $1.99 each, but at least you could get a matching set, if that's important to you.
Come to think of it, maybe someone already has published this kind of list. Google, here I come!

Joe Vs The Volcano

If you have never seen the marginally successful movie Joe Vs the Volcano, this reference may slip past you. (If you haven't seen it, you will enjoy the 98 min.) And the end of the movie, Hanks and Ryan are floating in the middle of the ocean, on their unsinkable steamer trunks towards a huge smiling moon.
I was on my evening walk tonight, Thursday, May 27, about 10:40 p.m. and the moon was just beginning to come out behind Mt. Olympus. It was beautiful. The light glowed on some light clouds, the mountain a beautiful silhouette, what I view. I wish i had the camera equipment that could capture the moment.
Moon risings were something Lori and I enjoyed. We looked forward to some beautiful evenings watching the moon come up....
Then it hit me. With such a romantic scene, I realized why I was having a hard time going to sleep at night. It was blasting in my ear, "Love Songs After Dark" on FM 100.3. I was listening to love songs while learning to be alone. Bad combination. I would listen to relaxing CD's, but my clock/radio/CD player has been struggling.
Guess I will change the station and see if that helps me sleep! Goodnight you all!

I've Seen That Look Before!!

I was riding my scooter near the South Towne Mall and I saw that look again for the second time in my life.
The first time I saw the look -- An adult man with his eyes so wide open that you can not only see the whites of his eyes, you can see the red blood vessels and the uvula in the wide open mouth of "Oh No" -- when I was a missionary in Kenosha Wisconsin. I had dropped off three missionaries on the Amtrak train bound north for Milwaukee. I had been promoted to District Leader and was gonna get the car, go get my new companion and the two other missionaries being assigned to Kenosha. However, the old DL kept the keys to the car. I was stuck in the little town of Sturdevent, WI.
We radioed conductor about our problem. He called back and said he found the Elders, got the keys and would send it back south on the next Amtrak. I waited nearly two hours for the return trip. I was late and getting anxious - after all I was all alone, and that felt strange in itself.
As the Amtrak approached from the north, I became aware of a freight train heading north on another set of tracks. As the southbound train pulled through the station, the conductor threw me the keys from the front end of the caboose. I began to time my crossing of the four train tracks only to forget all about the north bound freight train.
I believe I was carried from the tracks by my guardian angel. I landed just out of reach of the engine. That is the first time I saw a man's eyes wide open and his mouth wide open in awe of an almost accident.
Well, the second time happened today as I was eastbound on 102000 South near State Street. A white Sierra pickup truck began to pull into my lane at the same location as I was. I swerved, he swerved back and it was a near miss. I saw it again, eyes wide open, mouth wide! As he eventually passed by me, he was apologizing.....
Lori was almost able to cash in my $500,000 life insurance policy.
I guess the question is, why would I never think of getting on my bicycle without a helmet, yet motor around at 35 mph with a ball cap on backwards.
I better go buy a helmet before my kids read this.

50 First Dates

This wouldn't be has humerous as it is, but I had just watched Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in the comedy 50 First Dates. Adam falls in love with a girl who can't remember past one particular day, so each day is the same and Adam has to introduce himself over again.\
This weekend my brother Stephen and his family were staying with us (mom and I) and Trevor and Niki and granddaughter Madden stayed with us as well. Well, Every time Madden, who is about two years old, say me she asked "Whos That?' and pointed at me! Each time someone said "That's Unka Jim!" She would smile and go on her way.
Pretty tough when you can't make a lasting impression on a two year old.

What A Clan Bake!

The Olsen Clan gathered for a baby blessing on Saturday, May 22. We blessed Ethan and Harmonie Nielsen"s new baby Rhys Roger. We had nearly 50 people (it was hard to count as many of the little ones wouldn't stay in one place.) Anyway, the blessing circle was huge and Rhys was bounced and bounced. It was fun to see relatives from as far away as Blanding, Morgan, and Logan. Lots of SLC family there, too. Soup, bread, cookies -- it was a regular feast. My mother, Nancy, now has 20ish Great-Grandchildren. There were five great-grandchildren under a couple of months. Two have now been blessed, and three more will be scheduled soon!. This is a picture of my mom with the five little babies. (a couple were propped from behind, ha ha) The babies, in no particular order, cause I can't really tell ) are Bronson Rodeback, Luke McFalls, Traxtron Olsen, Zoey Olsen, Rhys Nielsen.

Art Linkletter Was Right!

Many of you don't remember Art Linkletter. He was a pioneer in the old TV Days. He used to have a show segment where he interviewed kids. AND THEY SAID THE DARNDEST THINGS.
Well, I was at Cody and Kim's home the other night trying to help with projects. They had just begun to paint the hallway, having just put their two boys to bed. The door creaked open and Parker said "I have to go pee.." Aiden was behind him behind the door.
Cody was just starting to paint in front of the bathroom. He sighed and said "Okay. But Aiden, you need to get back into bed."
Aiden, who is still in diapers, whined "I got to go pee, too."

Good luck with all that Cody and Kim!

Meet the Family

I thought I would post a picture of my family.. I have four children, Bret (Lori Michelle), Cody (Kimberly), Artimesia and Holland. Included in this photo are three grandchildren, Parker, Aiden and Faye. Also in the picture is my wife, Lori. It was taken on her graduation day from the University of Phoenix.
I am proud that she accomplished this feat!

Homeowner

My son Cody and his family - Kimberly, Parker, Aiden, and a little girl yet to be names, have moved into a new home! They are excited to have this change in their lives. I helped paint, but it is fun to watch as C0dy begins his roll as a "Homeowner". One of his first tasks on the day they moved in was to fix the swap cooler!
Who knew he was so handy? I couldn't be more proud!

It seems Like I Should Catch Up!

I am going to start a blog so that my family and friends can keep up with me. I haven't really tried blogging, but I have been told that it is the wave of the future and I am really, really behind. ha ha
I will learn as I go, and probably get help from my kids!